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"I didn't listen to Coach Paterno or Coach Burton when I was in Happy Valley. I didn't pay attention in class or study. I goofed around and partied to... much. I was in my coaches' doghouse for good reason." What clicked this year?" Terry asked. "How do you account for your success here with the Saints? Was it something Coach Payton did for you?" Coach Payton has been great," Max answered. " ... but I woke up sooner than that. It started last season at Penn State. Our slot receiver got hurt and I. But that was a very long time ago; and I can assure you, that I have never stopped masturbating for hardly a day in my life; and, I'm happy to say, that my pastor was a total fraud; because I have NEVER, ever, 'run out of sperm!' Indeed, in college biology I discovered that my testicles were constantly producing more, and more, and yet more sperm every day! So, our pastor had lied through his teeth to us that day. The only thing he actually accomplished was to make us more, or less, young. More

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