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The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an asshole!”Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator...�� has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?”The Officer. I guess I’m just lucky.“What else?”“Well, there’s that friend of yours - Leslie. You and her are always hanging around.”“Uh, yeah.” I said, rolling my eyes. “Sometimes people have friends. You should try it.”Simon’s not a super-nerd or anything like that, but he doesn’t really go out much. He spends most of his time in his room, or working on little projects around the house. Just a month or two ago, he insisted that we switch the whole house to solar power, and replaced all our light globes. More

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